N3

"Gods of Fortune" by Hokusai

Sometimes when in need of reassurance we dwell into our inner motives, the intimacy of our actions, our dreams and hopes. We look into life - what worked and what didn't, and ask for a sense of forgiving through remembrance.

This third instalment of NN magazines is profoundly personal, yet plays with the creative structure of its author, myself. Written as a confessionary, it lays bare the will to create: back in time and to the moment of its deposition.

2012 was a hard year, trucking through a foreign and closed environment such as Ticino, and in the loneliness of forfeited possibilities.

With Mathias Britos we had buried ¡LAZARO! under a pile of ashes and tried to continue our collaboration through music, but without a clear or common ground for work and vision. Theatre was lost. Acting as well. All production seemed stalled.

Creative momentum in Ticino wasn't happening. It's rural and confort driven creativity was very far from my personal intensity and the geared towards industry career I had been working for. Ticino has unbounded potential, but for some reason due to a scour institutionalized cultural production every creative flight is clipped before takeoff.

I felt somehow apprehended by a social system that worked against expression. My very own expression. And this feeling, related to the a constant prejudice and focus on flaws, would surely grow into the prolonged injury preset in Carnal Creative Universe.

However, I did believe heartedly in collaboration: in the sharing of a common spirit to achieve a final product bigger, much bigger, than its parts. As my late mentor and friend Alan Rickman used to tell me, to be brave enough and give one's self to the unknown immensity of creation. N3 was a powerful beam of light when there was quite little of it.